Damn she's moving again!?!

A wise person once said "Sometimes you've got to remove yourself to move yourself". Who was that? Oh yeah, it was me. And despite my better judgement I have decided to take my own advice. That's right all, I'm moving. Again. And I couldn't be happier or more scared. The first time I left S. Florida I had no expections (and to tell you the truth neither did anyone else), I could onld only go up. Who would blame me for making mistakes? It was my first time out of the nest. "She decided to live where in GA?" It's not her fault, this is her first time away from home. "She met a guy where all by herself?" It's not her fault she just moved here. But this time it's different. There are expections, hopes and dreams to be fulfilled. And they are all mine (thankfully). My date of departure was selected for many reasons but I have to say what drew me to it was the way it sounds when I say it, 8/26/06. Sounds like the date of the MTV Video Awards or the release date of the anticipated summer block buster. But no, it's the day that little ole me is moving to the ATL (No Valerie not Ann Taylor's Loft), GA. I plan to discover all types of places and things. And I plan on missing those of you that I am leaving behind every single day. These past two years I've lost friends, family and even a little bit of the me I used to be. But most importantly I have learned so much. So much about the person I'm gonna be when I grow up. I want to thank you all for you kind words and positive attitude when I told you my decision. Granted many of you were shock (Lisa's still on the floor), some weren't, but all of you were supportive. And that to me is the greatest gift of all. So keep an eye out for BlackGyrlStarr Productions, LLC, keep an ear available for all the wonderful experiences and keep your heart open to receive the love that I have for each and everyone one of you (yes, even you Fred).

P.S.: Don't forget to call my momma every once and a while to see how she's doing (this was her idea afterall).

"The beauty of life is, while we cannot undo what is done, we can see it, understand it, learn from it and change. So that every new moment is spent not in regret, guilt, fear or anger, but in wisdom, understanding and love. "
Jennifer Edwards

Don't Sh*t Where You Eat.

‘Now joining Ludacris and 50 Cent is Ice Cube, who tells FHM magazine: "I've been involved in three projects pitched to her, but I've never been asked to participate."

The rapper-actor (real name: O'Shea Jackson), 36, says of his 2002 snub, "For Barbershop she had Cedric the Entertainer and Eve on, but I wasn't invited. Maybe she's got a problem with hip-hop."

Questioning Winfrey's booking policy, Cube also says: "She's had damn rapists, child molesters and lying authors on her show. And if I'm not a rags-to-riches story for her, who is?"

Earlier this month on a New York radio show, Winfrey, 52, responded to charges of her anti-hip-hop bias. Speaking to DJ Ed Lover, she said: "I listen to some hip-hop. You know, I've been accused of not liking hip-hop, and that's just not true. I got a little 50 (Cent) on my iPod. I really do. Love In Da Club. ... Love that, and you know, love Jay-Z, love Kanye (West), love Mary J. (Blige)."’


Although I believe that the Goddess Oprah can do no wrong and I usually come to her defense when anyone says anything negative about her; I have to say that I agree, that Oprah is not a fan of HIP-HOP. But she stills deserves my defending. I believe that like Bernie Mac she has categories that she likes, like Happy Rap. And like all people her age she may not like it. My mom doesn’t like rap and she’s older than Oprah. But then again I have friends a few years older than me who just don’t get rap music. Does that mean they are out vilifying all rappers? No and neither is Oprah. Why is she expected to act any different than the average person? It’s her show. Built with her sweat, tears and constant memories of rejections and put-downs. Why aren’t we outraged that “Yo Mama” is on television. That show is horrible. And I don’t thinks it’s the fault of the host (even though the intense discussions they have to determine the winner is just too much) but because of the entire premise. Let put each other down, and let’s talk about each other’s mama’s and who ever disrespects the other best gets cash and 2 tickets to see Kid from Kid N’ Play do his stand-up act. I also believe that Oprah as a business person does not feel that she can "Market" all rappers to Mid-West America. Is she wrong for that? Nope. Who took it seriously that Busta Rhymes would be hanging out with Martha Stewart? We took it as comedy, as it was meant. Because the entire Hip-Hop community could not understand Martha Stewart as it pertains to Hip-Hop. Her ability to make taking pride in the appearance of your home and all the accessories that come with it, we understand. June Cleaver (42 years old) in Dusty City, Wyoming doesn't get The movie 'Barber Shop' and could care less for an Ice Cube, Ice Tray or Ice Blocks. The ones she names that she likes are the exceptions. My mother loves, loves Ice-T but only because he was in New Jack City and is on Law and Order: SVU. She has no idea that claims to have been a pimp and rapped about killing people and selling drugs. Kanye is known by Middle America not for his rapping capabilities but for the fact that he put President Bush on Blast about his regards for black people in America. Jay-Z is rapper turned successful business man. He is part owner of the New Jersey Nets, and runs a successful sports club in NY. Not to mention that he's the rapper dating that singer who sang three songs (one being an operetta) at the Academy Awards a few years back, and starred in one of the movies from the Austin Powers Franchise. Mentioning that Jay-Z use to be a Pharmaceutical Rep. for South American Drug Company is longer necessary or a part of his bio. She had Ludacris on only because he was part of the cast of "Crash". That's it, end of point, deal with it. Do you think that people would have tuned in for a 30 minute interview on Ludacris? Nope. And how likely is it that sitting on stage with 50 cent would not include how profitable it was for him to be selling drugs and how most of his clientele was white? It would have to come up. And if you are Oprah Winfrey and you are donating MILLIONS of dollars to Colleges so that young black men can realize that the ticket to a good life is a good education, having a rapper on stating that he was shot nine times and sold drugs to make a living and that he could not be as successful as he is if it wasn't for that, is not how you want to spend your hour taping. So Oprah may not be a fan of Hip-Hop, so what? Why aren't rappers agitated that they are not being invited to Country Radio Shows considering that Tim McGraw (translation: HUGE country star) and Nelly had a very successful duet together (and by successful I mean the single was almost 2x platinum, that's all). Oprah is trying to do something here; she is trying to break the stereotypes of black people, black men especially. So let's talk to Kanye about his outright political views and let's talk to Chris Bridges about his character in Crash and let's leave the man who allowed a negative comment about Rosa Parks and Martin Luther King (although I thought it was necessary for the movie) out of the cast interview. If you are a black person and you can add something to someone else's life than she will definitely have you on. So to Ludacris, 50 cent, and Ice Cube just do what you do and do it well and let Oprah do what she does and let her do it well. Because truth be told none of you could be as diversified financially if Oprah, the black woman, didn’t do it first and let you that it could be done. As much as I love Will Smith he wasn’t the first to make a 180˚ career change and make it look easy and was successful at it. It was Oprah talk show host who became Oprah Winfrey Academy Award Nominee. So all of you make your movies, and sell your energy drinks and start your fashion lines but remember she made it so that you could talk about her and that magazines are writing about it.

A.D.I.D.A.S

It is I and I am back. Well almost. Most of me is still laying on my be d at this very moment dreaming about standing on a rooftop in Brooklyn while Mos Def raps to me about the state of Black America, the state of our love and The State night club in Miami Beach. The rest of of me is here in front of the computer trying to figure it all out. Trying to figure out the fact that Terry "Waiting to Exhale" McMillian married a gay man 23 years her junior and found out he was gay the day after Christmas (6 years later)!! How do you think it happened? Do you think as a surprise she called Queer Eye for the Straight Guy to re-do his garage and when Carson walked in he said "Name Changes! Name Changes!! We need Name Changes! After seeing your Husband Ms McMillian, we're re-naming your book How Carson got his Grove Back!! Also the show will now be known as Queer Guy for a Straight Girl!!". Or did he leave her note by her bedside that said "There's a surprise waiting for you in the closet. Love Jon". When she went to the closet, slowly opened the door, Jonathan jumped out saying "It's me, it's me and I'm out and I'm free!" According to several reports from those who watched their interview on Oprah, the love doesn't seem to be in the closet. Neither is the physical desire for each other. But is it sex or physical intimacy that they are desiring from each other. He obviously wants to have relations and relationships with men. But is what they had deeper then that? Is it possible that at the end of all this they both just wanted to be held. And not just held to be held but to be held by Love. And they did love each other, at one time.

And now that I have said that, here's my concern. Is this the new fate of all women? Do we have to settle for sharing? Isn't it bad enough we gotta share jobs, houses, booths at crowded Miami Subs, and the elevator?? Do I have to share a man too? Let's be honest when we go to a social environment with a man, aren't we secretly checking out every other woman in the place to see what she got going on? And don't we do it regardless of the women's ethnicity, marital status, weight, attire and height? Now we have to add Men to the CSI mission too. Damn I'm never gonna get to dance or eat or tour the setting in peace. I need some Six Million Dollar Man type Vision. Who's got that type of money (I know Oprah does, but do you think she worries about Steadman when they go out? Yeah she does.)? And as much as I swear my Gay-Dar is on tight and always working, who knows for sure anymore. Look at that dude on the Real World, I seriously thought he was gonna bring home one girl after another into that house in Philly, WRONG. So what are we to do ladies? Do like Harpo Productions does or MicroSoft does or Starbuck does. Research. Those three are some of the best companies to work for but they don't just hire any body. They make you jump through some serious hoops before they say "You're Hired (don't I say it better than Donold?). They do everything from drug test, background checks, reference checks and credit checks. We should do the same and I don't been going through his e-mail or cell phone phonebook or looking under his sofa cushions. It means watch him. Pay attention to him and his actions and interactions. I'm not saying that Terry didn't pay attention but she obviously look over some things but like I said maybe she wanted to overlook those things. So my advice to you ladies: Pay attention and listen. My momma always said you learn alot more when you open your eyes and ears and keep your mouth shut.

Recap of today's lesson:

If a man knows of and wear's MAC Lipglass he may not be into you, he may be into the guy next to you. But if you're ok with that and just want to be held at night by him, you may have found a new best friend.

Put that Where? Back there!

Thomas Jefferson was obviously delusional when he invented the telephone as a way of communication and keeping those far away from each other close. Because experience has taught me that the actual purpose of a telephone, is a weapon. Not in the heard-a-bump-in-the-night-let-me-throw-it-at-someone sort of weapon, but the “How can I hurt you so badly yet not touch you?” type weapon.

There are people that I know who seem to believe that the phone only rings but it doesn’t dial out. At least that is what I think they believe because they couldn’t possibly purposely decided that they won’t call me to see how I am doing yet claim that I have decided not to call because I have some sort of problem with them. That thinking does seem a little strange. Or the other people that I know, who I leave messages for yet they decided that just because they say they care (or did they?) that doesn’t mean they have to return the calls (whether I was calling because Wilma had knocked out my power or just to vent my frustration over the fact that the BEAUTIFUL Bre was beat out by PASTY Nicole). It’s better to let me sweat and worry that maybe I said something in our last conversation or maybe my breath stinks, and it stinks so badly that they can actually see green smoke coming through their phone when I am speaking to them . Or maybe just maybe they are not the people I thought they were and I am just a bad judge of character (could that really be it?). And lastly there are those people I know. We have no problem with each other, when we see each other it all daisies and just when I’ve just recapped everything that has gone on for the last 30 days they say it, the one thing that drives me over the edge – “So you can’t call nobody?”. That's when I have to say “Did you lose your fingers in a bad gambling debt pay back program? Did big Baby Boy Bruno come to your house and remove all you fingers one at a time? Because your number never came up on my caller id either!”

The last one is usually well intentioned and for the most part I understand where they are coming from and I don’t hold anything against them. But the first two have and do continue to cause me pain. The first one causes me pain because they seem to believe that my intent was to hurt them and well since obviously I’m not that important in their lives it’s best to dismiss me and then explain that our lack of communication is my fault. If they cared to find out why our communication has fizzled and wanted to know why they would call and ask why. But they don’t. When I try to rectify the situation myself they usually end up in category 2, I call they don’t respond. I even e-mail, nothing. Are they trying to tell me something? Also in category 2 are people who I never thought had a problem with me. It seems that one day they just decided “You know, enough of this Thania chick. I have to ignore her calls, voicemails, e-mails and text messages (I know I sound like a stalker but really I’m not). I can’t say she did anything to me I just don’t want to talk to her anymore." And just like that it ends. With no warning, no loud black girl argument that contains lots of references to 'yo mama' and 'that's why you ugly', and no returning of the curling, shoes and other borrowed items -- it's over. Ouch!! There's that damn phone again.

Now, am I being to sensitive? Possibly but I reserve the right to be. I may not be top of the list when it comes to promptly returning calls but I try and I do acknowledge the missed call when I do speak to the caller. So of course I have to find a resolution to this situation. Because it just isn't healthy to dwell on it for so too long. So here it is: For those in Categories 1 & 2: You win, I get the message, the writing is on the wall, I can take the hint, all that. I will not call anymore (or e-mail, text, leave messages, stop by - seriously I am not a stalker). I will leave you alone and we will all go one to live very productive, happy and fabulous lives.

For those in Category 3: You can't call nobody!!

Things that make you Say Hmmmmm . . . . . . . . .

In preparation of Tropical Storm/Hurricane Katrina and me slowly getting back to blogging (hey, according to Maxx people are getting fired from work for blogging-article to follow in future posting), here are some questions to ponder, research and just make you say DAMN IT, she's right!!

• Why do so many hip hop artists sport Jesus pieces, when you think to yourself, “there is no way this cat is demonstrating any kind of spirituality”? (any fill in the blank rapper, not true MC)
• Why does Destiny’s Child have so many mixed messages in one album? (“Soldier” to “Cater to You”)
• Why do we as fans want underground artists to get recognition and success and then hate on them when they get the very thing we’ve been praying for them to have? (Talib Kweli & Black Eye Peas)
• Why do we automatically assume that people with dreads do not eat pork, or live poor, veggie lifestyles?
• When is R. Kelly going to trial? (shouts to the missing witness/participant)
• When is the gub-mint going to seriously encourage the big automakers to make fuel alternative cars? (Shouts to the Honda Civic "Ms. Roxanne")
• Why are we not getting the real real on the Israeli pullout of the Gaza Strip? (shouts to a potential reduction in the Israeli/Palestinian conflict)
• Why does Bush seem to like nominees that no one supports and will not let have a full disclosure of their background checks? (shouts to Bolton and John Roberts)
• When is R. Kelly going to trial? (if for nothing else, that in the closet song)
• Why are the same 10 songs being played in the backwoods towns from the 1980’s? (shouts to Lionel Richie and Billy Ocean)
• What was Bow Wow thinking? (shouts to the hair and the lyrics)
• Why do some families treat each other worse than people they don’t like? (shouts to…you know who you are)
• Are videos still that important? (Hate Mariah's "We Belong Together" song, saw the video still hate the song)
• When will we realize that sometimes the fight is more important than the win? (shouts out to Cindy Sheehan and voting rights marchers)
• Based upon the passion of the participants, wouldn't it be cool to see Fantasy Football League Commissioners and Team Owners try their hands on the real thing? (they couldn't do any worst with Terrel Owens)
• Why do some cities stink when you drive through, AND you have the windows rolled up? (shouts out to….south GA, Central FL and sorry North Florida)
• Why are the Neptunes so much better than N.E.R.D.? (shouts to “She wants to move”)
• Does it really matter how old Free is? Aren't the guys really looking at her ass and the girls at her shoes?
• When is R. Kelly going to trial? (no seriously, I need to know)
• Why, after a solid 10 years, are we STILL stuck in the bling era? (shouts out to all Jesus piece wearers)

I 'm back. I'll try to write more frequently and maybe Valerie won't complain to much.

Thanks to Kinetic and ATL LowDown

No Stone left unturned.

Some time ago I wrote an entry titled "Papa was a Rolling stone" in reference to my father (how strange to use that term). I write today to thank all of you for your advice and words of wisdom and also to let you know that on Wedenesday, June 22nd of this year he died. After speaking to many of you and after a spiritual inventory taking on my part I had decided to contact him and let him know that I was hurt by his absence in my life. I had made a decision but not acted upon it. So the opportunity to do it face to face was gone . I can't begin to explain to you the emotional roller-coaster that I have been on. I have to admit that I myself am shocked by my reaction. I expected to simply move on with my day as if I heard that someone else's father had passed, I would feel sympathy for everyone involved but would move along with my day. That is not what happened. I found myself in my bed, under the covers, behind locked doors. I cried. More than I cried over a broken heart. More than I cried over happy moments. More than I cried over failed friendships. I cried for the missed opportunity to say things I had always wanted to say and to finally see the man I was told that I got my smile from. The man who's temper I have. The man who didn't remember that my first name is Thania and not Martine. I cried because I am angry. Angry that even in his dying he had won the battle between us. I still cry.

I found out at 6:30 a.m. on Saturday, June 25th that not only had he died but that his funeral was at 11:30 a.m. that day. For all the isht I talked about, the red suit and the hat with the veil, I didn't go. I couldn't go. I wanted to be that phenomenal woman he had never known and I wasn't prepared to be that, on that day at that time. So I stayed home and cried. I made calls to various friends (to all who answered thank you) where I know the conversations consisted of me rambling and trying my best to convince them that I was not at all affected by his death (they knew I was). I am not over it, I am not sure I ever will be. But I do know it's changed me, in ways I already know and in ways to be discovered. I have already said many things to him and know that there are many more but I also I need to let him go so that he can let me go.

"The beauty of life is, while we cannot undo what is done, we can see it, understand it, learn from it and change. So that every new moment is spent not in regret, guilt, fear or anger, but in wisdom, understanding and love. "

Jennifer Edwards

What had happened was . . .

O.K. Maybe I am not as aware as I would like to think, but am I the only one that was not offended by the comments of Mexico's President Vicente Fox. He stated that Mexicans took jobs, "that even blacks would not do," but isn't that the truth? I lived in Atlanta for nearly two years and I saw Mexicans standing on corners in the cold looking for jobs. I saw them working construction, as janitorial staff, shoveling snow in the winter and cutting lawns in the summer. I am sure there are tons of other jobs that they did/do that I have no idea exist and I am sure that some of these jobs would be considered demeaning. But does that mean that "even blacks won't do them"? Well doesn't that statement say it all, because if its available to do then NOBODY'S doing them. Not just blacks. How come he didn't say whites aren't doing them (I know why and so do you but for argument sake I'll put that in there), Asian immigrants aren't doing them, middle-easterners fleeing for their lives aren't doing them. No he said Blacks, I read Blacks and you read blacks. But if you think about it, for him to mention that "even blacks would not do" should be seen as a reference to our contribution to this country.

In it's founding years Africans were brought to this country for purely economic reasons. Yes, the sole purpose of the Middle Passage was money. Later on Africans as well as natives from Caribbean countries were brought into this country as bodies for the front line. Through all of this they built this country. The built it with inventions, educators, scientists and with their own two hands and strong determination. All the while raising families and building communities. This work was not rewarded with the lucrative, prestigious job offers, but at times the most degrading and the most demeaning. Blacks have had to DO some of the most disgusting jobs in the name of feeding their children and keeping their eyes on the prize. That is OUR reputation and we are not ashamed of it. But let's be honest that is no longer the norm. I know, I know the children of Caribbean parents are about to riot after reading that but I have to take side with them. Caribbeans (especially in South Florida) are most often the ones to DO the jobs of the cleaning and janitorial staff. But let's keep them out of this argument for now. I know (and you know) a lot of "Black-Americans" that find that certain jobs are beneath them and will not do them regardless of how much they need the money. They feel they shouldn't have to. That is their right. It is also the right of Mexican immigrants to take those jobs if they are available. Does that make Blacks lazy? No, I don't think so. Does it make Mexicans superior? Not in the least. Those who are protesting and boycotting (a task that requires a lot of strong will and work invented by Blacks in America) are giving President's Fox's comment more validity than necessary.

It brings to mind another point. How are Americans going to dictate how the President of another country addresses his citizens? He said it, we heard it and he meant it. We told him some people found it offensive, he said that's not how he meant it and he's sorry. So now we want to vilify him? Do we have the right? Look at who our President is?

I am not diminishing anyone's feelings nor am I dismissing any opinions but I just think that we are losing focus on what's really important. Let's not get caught up in the Media Hype, because that's what this is. Public Schools do not have enough resources, teachers do not get paid enough and although the cost of living keeps going up my paycheck isn't. Shouldn't Al sorption and Jesse Jackson be mad at that. Shouldn't they be on television saying how disgusting it is that a two-income family with two kids can't afford to live in a house big enough to house them?

So if I get a free trip to Mexico I am going. If I am hungry and the nearest place is a Mexican restaurant, I'm eating. If a fine Mexican man smiles at me I am smiling right back. But if I turn on the television and see either Al sorption and/or Jesse Jackson talking about anything that is not in the least helpful to the state of Black America today then honey, I am popping Napoleon Dynamite into the DVD player!!

That's just what I'm sayin'.