A.D.I.D.A.S

It is I and I am back. Well almost. Most of me is still laying on my be d at this very moment dreaming about standing on a rooftop in Brooklyn while Mos Def raps to me about the state of Black America, the state of our love and The State night club in Miami Beach. The rest of of me is here in front of the computer trying to figure it all out. Trying to figure out the fact that Terry "Waiting to Exhale" McMillian married a gay man 23 years her junior and found out he was gay the day after Christmas (6 years later)!! How do you think it happened? Do you think as a surprise she called Queer Eye for the Straight Guy to re-do his garage and when Carson walked in he said "Name Changes! Name Changes!! We need Name Changes! After seeing your Husband Ms McMillian, we're re-naming your book How Carson got his Grove Back!! Also the show will now be known as Queer Guy for a Straight Girl!!". Or did he leave her note by her bedside that said "There's a surprise waiting for you in the closet. Love Jon". When she went to the closet, slowly opened the door, Jonathan jumped out saying "It's me, it's me and I'm out and I'm free!" According to several reports from those who watched their interview on Oprah, the love doesn't seem to be in the closet. Neither is the physical desire for each other. But is it sex or physical intimacy that they are desiring from each other. He obviously wants to have relations and relationships with men. But is what they had deeper then that? Is it possible that at the end of all this they both just wanted to be held. And not just held to be held but to be held by Love. And they did love each other, at one time.

And now that I have said that, here's my concern. Is this the new fate of all women? Do we have to settle for sharing? Isn't it bad enough we gotta share jobs, houses, booths at crowded Miami Subs, and the elevator?? Do I have to share a man too? Let's be honest when we go to a social environment with a man, aren't we secretly checking out every other woman in the place to see what she got going on? And don't we do it regardless of the women's ethnicity, marital status, weight, attire and height? Now we have to add Men to the CSI mission too. Damn I'm never gonna get to dance or eat or tour the setting in peace. I need some Six Million Dollar Man type Vision. Who's got that type of money (I know Oprah does, but do you think she worries about Steadman when they go out? Yeah she does.)? And as much as I swear my Gay-Dar is on tight and always working, who knows for sure anymore. Look at that dude on the Real World, I seriously thought he was gonna bring home one girl after another into that house in Philly, WRONG. So what are we to do ladies? Do like Harpo Productions does or MicroSoft does or Starbuck does. Research. Those three are some of the best companies to work for but they don't just hire any body. They make you jump through some serious hoops before they say "You're Hired (don't I say it better than Donold?). They do everything from drug test, background checks, reference checks and credit checks. We should do the same and I don't been going through his e-mail or cell phone phonebook or looking under his sofa cushions. It means watch him. Pay attention to him and his actions and interactions. I'm not saying that Terry didn't pay attention but she obviously look over some things but like I said maybe she wanted to overlook those things. So my advice to you ladies: Pay attention and listen. My momma always said you learn alot more when you open your eyes and ears and keep your mouth shut.

Recap of today's lesson:

If a man knows of and wear's MAC Lipglass he may not be into you, he may be into the guy next to you. But if you're ok with that and just want to be held at night by him, you may have found a new best friend.