Back Track

Once upon a time in a land known as Atlanta, Georgia I used to write these diatribes of experiences and people I'd met and e-mail them to my friends. It initially started as a way to keep in contact with my friends in Florida. Then it became something that I would get to tomorrow and then three years had gone by and nothing had been written. Which I find to be ironic because so much has happened in that time. Then the other day I received an e-mail from a friend who asked me what happened to my "stories"? Stories? Well I thought about it and I figured I could add this to the 112 things I do everyday. I can sleep when I die. So this is an entry into my thoughts, my concerns and I guess me. So for the new people in my world here is a little something about me.

Name: My mother named me Thalia Mary-Martine Cantave, the hospital wrote down Thania (my mom has a slight accent) but you can call me Tay.

Age: 30, but I got a birthday coming soon. To be honest I feel 23 because half the time I don't know what the hell I'm doing with myself.

Attitude: I go with the flow of life. Life is crazy sometimes and so am I. Life is quiet and calm sometimes and so am I.

The CD I am dying to get: ElDeBarge's "Ultimate Collection". You all are sleeping on him. So many Hip-Hop artist are using his beats to make the big money.

Insecurities: I don't want anybody to be mad at me. I was raised as an only child and it's not one of the lessons you are taught. No one told me that someone can be mad with you and still love me.

The one book I am dying to read all the way through: "God's Secretaries" The truth behind the authors of the King James Version of the Bible.

Relationship Status: Single and a little angry about it. Hey what can I say I think I'm a great catch.

Aspirations: I don't know. It used to be an easy question to answer when I was younger. So many things have changed and so many things have ended up differently than I thought they would. That'll be my everyday goal, to find my aspiration.

Just to give you a glue as to what you expect from me, here's one from the good 'ol days in Atlanta:

I have come to realize that in states such as New York and Georgia, universities and other institutions of higher learning are highly overrated-Doris you'll feel me on this one. The reason for this revelation is because truly everything you need to learn about life and how to survive can be learned on the Train. Can you believe it a life lesson for only $1.75 each way. That's $3.50 a day, $17.50 a week. In semester talk that's $280.00, a year will cost you $1120.00. An entire four year education will cost (drumroll please) . . . carry the one . . .$4,480.00. That's it and what will you have learned for an education that cost you less than $5,000? Hold on I about to tell you (take notes there will be a quiz at the end):

1. If in a conversation some one uses the word about, they are lying. Estimation only works on mathematic calculations. Example: Two ladies (come on now I'm trying to proper) are discussing which boyfriend gives the most money. Lady A says "Pookie (I ain't lyin' she said Pookie) came over yesterday girl and I got $50.00 from him to get my hair did (her hair did looked like it had been did)." Lady B says "Girl that ain't nothin' Jashawn (would I make that up) gave me about $100.00 the other day for nothin at all." Lie, lie, lie, lie, lie. When was the last time you got some money and you didn't remember exactly how much you got? I still remember how much money I stole from my grandmothers dresser when I was seven. And I can convert it from gourd (Haitian currency) back to the American dollar. And ladies what man do you know (Julian jump in at anytime) do you know just gives a women money for nothin at all. Oh he got somethin'. Whether it was ass, a meal, a place to hide out, the use of her car, doin' his homework, she worked the neck-somethin' was exchanged for the so called $100. Now men aren't excluded from this chapter. Guy A says "Last night my girl gave me some good shit. I swear we must of been at it for like 2 hours!! Guy B responds "I know what you mean man me and my girl hit it about four times last night!! All together now ladies: Lie, lie, lie, lie, lie. Now his friend may believed Guy B was the man but really, we know the truth. Oh there were four hits but let me break it down for you exactly: Hit 1-they hit the bed, the floor, the kitchen table, the bathroom wall (one of them), Hit 2-they actually hit it, you know the silky nasty, knocked boots, the horizontal bambo, the hit the skins, Hit 3-he hits his side of the pillow and goes to sleep and if it was good Hit 4-she hit her side of the pillow and went to sleep. And besides a man knows exactly how many times he's hit it with every women. Wilt Chamberlain never said "I've had sex with about 6,000 women" No he said "I've had sex with 5,632.7 (have to politically correct) women." It's like a rain man thing with them, they can't remember the exact date they met you but they can tell you what the whether was like in Puket, Thailand the night they had sex with you (right Julian??)!!So what have we learned? When someone says about and they are not filing your taxes or giving an estimate that you know should really cost half the amount they are going to give you, they are probably lying. This fulfills your psychology requirement.

Next lesson: Why old, drucken, homeless black men should run for President.