I have a friend, Jahnicka (all names have been changed to protect the innocent), and in this ever changing world we live in decided that she would like to see what the internet dating world had to offer. She met a guy named Cleophus in October and after some e-mails they exchanged contact numbers. For the next couple of months Cleophus and Jahnicka talked on the phone consistently. They find that they have so much in common, a love of sports, a strong sense of their spirituality and the desire to be in a committed, loving relationship. Cleophus works the 3rd shift (11 p.m. - 7 a.m.) and therefore most of their conversations take place at night before he goes to work or during the weekends. This schedule also prevents him from seeing her (mind you he lives in Winston Salem, NC Total Est. Time: 1 hour, 25 minutes Total Est. Distance: 79.03 miles away from Charlotte, NC). So they continue to communicate through e-mails, instant messages and phone conversations. Christmas, New Years and Valentine's Day all come and go during the next six months and things seem to be progressing nicely. While reading his profile in March 2005 she realizes that he has updated it to say that he is currently in a relationship (and trying to be faithful) and is using this web site purely to chat and pass away time (I know what you're thinking but no it just can't be) and is not looking for a relationship. One day during a conversation with Cleophus, Jahnicka mentioned (and I do mean mentioned, not questioned, not interrogated) to him that she saw his updated profile. He stated that he was getting e-mails from very aggressive women and funny enough from some guys, so he said that so they would leave him alone (sounds good enough). Alls good, life goes on. Well on Sunday(this past Sunday) in a conversation, in which he stated that he couldn't wait to talk to her, over the phone he told her about how he enjoyed that fact that they got along so well and that she could possibly be wifey material. Seems nice, tugs at the heart strings doesn't it? Well, here is where the bullshit comes in to play. At 3:00 p.m. on Monday (yes, yesterday) Jahnicka gets a call from Cleophus. He leaves a message stating that he has to speak to her, as she is listening to the voicemail another call from him comes through. It goes something like this:
Cleophus:
Ah, hi Jahnicka.
Jahnicka:
Hey, Cleophus. What's up.
Cleophus:
Ah, has a girl name Codesca, called you.
Janicka:
No, I don't know a Codesca.
Cleophus:
Ah, yeah, cause she has your number.
Janicka:
Why does she have my number? I don't know Codesca? How did she get my number?
Cleophus:
Ah, I don't know? I don't leave my cell phone lying around.
Jahnicka:
Cleophus, who is Codesca?
Cleophus:
Ah, she's, um, how do I say this? Well, she's my girlfriend.
Jahnicka:
What?!? (in a low assertive voice because she is at work and she will not be the loud black girl)
Cleophus:
Yeah. I really want to be honest and straight forward with you.
Jahnicka:
Ok. How long have you had a girlfriend?
Cleophus:
Well, she was my ex-girlfriend but we got back together.
Jahnicka:
So, how long have you two been together?
Cleophus:
Ah, we've been together since about (please refer to entry titled "Back Track") January. You don't understand I love her, I gotta make this up to her. I mean I really owe it to her, I really love her. I gotta make this right.
Jahnicka:
Good luck with that. CLICK!
Now there is so much more to that last telephone conversation then what is here but I am sure that you all have some work to be doing. But you get the point. Six months. Six months of late night conversations, messages just because he was thinking about her, six months of "I really want to see you" and six months of pure bullshit. Why? Why do guys do it? He could have told her at Christmas: "Hey, Jah Merry Christmas! I gotta girlfriend." He could have told her during New Years: "Happy New Year Jahnicka! I gotta girlfriend." He could have told her on Ground Hog's Day: "Damn girl, six more weeks of winter! I gotta girlfriend." But no he wasted her time and her anytime minutes with this bullshit!! Guys, why is it so hard to be upfront? How do you know she's not after a little ass, too.
He says:
"Listen girl, I'm really feeling you but I gotta girl."
She says:
"Oh that's cool, I'm not looking for a relationship anyway. I'm just trying to enjoy myself"
What's the worst that can happen? That she'll say that and in some way make you feel a little punked. Oh no, if she wants to hit it she obvioulsy has something she's trying to give away. Oh no, she's too aggressive. Better I lie and manipulate her ass. Or maybe she'll say she's not with it and walk way. Oh my god, can you believe it some woman walked away from you! What the hell was she thinkin?? Suck that shit up!! You got a woman! How many do you need? How many women have to line up from the tip of your dick for you to feel like a man? I know a guy who was messing with his ex-girlfriend for a little over year, and the whole time he had a girlfriend. Did he tell the ex? Nope!! Did he tell the current girlfriend? Nope!! Then just like Cleophus, suddenly become honest (or brave as he referred to it) when the ex-girlfriend found out. Women call men dogs not because they sleep around but because they are stupid enough to chase their own tails. Yall are ignant! I told my friend that when he told her that he loved his girlfriend that she should have said " I love her too. And I don't want our relationship to built on a foundation of lies, so when she calls I'll just have to tell her the truth." But she can't do that because then she'd be deemed as some kind of Crazy Bitch.
What is it that prevents you from being honest? The list of questions that women have to ask a men when you first meet thems gotten longer a little more specific:
Do you have any children?
Do you live with your momma?
When getting head do you discriminate? Do you like looking down and seeing a fro work the magic sticks that's not attached to breast?
Have you ever been in jail? Do you miss the guys there and want to go back?
Have you ever hit a woman?
But the number one question has always been: DO YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND? Why are so many good women single? For the same reason that Lifetime Channel is so popular. We can't trust men. Now I know not all of you men are like that but all of you are part of the penis carrying club and unfortunately for you membership has it's priviledges.
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