Can I get the Senior Citizen Special, please?

When did life change so fast? What's a trillville? Who is "The Game"? And how is he the hottest thing out there? How is it that at thirty I already feel so out of the loop? Am I growing older faster or is the younger generation? Here are 8 (because I'm too old to think up 10) ways to determine whether you're out of the "MTV Generation":

8. Your in an elevator going to an appointment and a "Flava in Ya Ear" by Craig Mack is being played in Muzak.

7. You don't know any of the hosts on MTV's TRL (even though you and girls, who were in your late twentys at the time, have not only been on the program but you got the video tape to prove it)

6. Really do the jeans have to be that low?? (Applies to girls and guys)

5. Your current "new" car is the same year as a high schooler's first car.

4. When did it make sense to wear fur coats in the summer and ultra-mini skirts in the winter.

3. We are older than everybody on Bet's 106 & Park's Top 10 List (well I am anyway).

2. While planning a girls get away vacation you have to exclude all the girls you know who have the potential of letting the GETTING come easy (getting drunk, getting loud, getting in a fight and getting groped by a stanger- Think back to FREAK-NIK and Black Beach Weekend) because you want to have a good time. When you were younger these were the ones that were first on the list because you were guaranteed to have a good time.

1. This one is for the ladies - You are not attracted to and have no intention of making out with your best friend just because "it's fun and you want a free t-shirt".

I'm concerned about this but not really. I love being my age and believe me I would not want to be a teenager today for anything. I just don't remember getting off the train, standing on the platform waving good-bye to being trendy and current. Now I'm all involved with Air America radio, Sky Shows and trips to Chicago that have nothing to do with congregating with my peers so that we can hook-up, drink-up and party all night long. I want to go just to go. What happened to me? I remember when the shirts had to be see-through and the skirts had to be short. Now I like the sleeves past my wrist and the skirt pass my ankles. But that's still sexy, right? I could go clubbing but I'd rather have friends over and watch my friend do the electric slide like it's never been done before on DVD while drinking a glass of wine and laughing to the point of tears. But this is my life now and I'm enjoying it.

Now if only I could get my friend to sign a release so I can distribute this DVD of her doing the electric slide on the internet. Hmm.