Smoooches Bitches!

I love, love, love Dave Chapelle. He's the best thing to come out of Comedy Central since . . . anyway I love Dave Chapelle. Dave Chapelle has added a new word to my vocabulary, Bitch. I know what you're saying "That ain't a new word!". You're right it isn't, but I just never thought of it as being a funny word. A word to be used humourously. I have been raised to believe that it's a profane word and degrades women, but when Dave Chapelle said it I couldn't stop laughing. When Rick James (lemme pour a little something for my homies that ain't here) re-introduced himself to us, he didn't say "Hello, I'm Rick James. I used to be a really famous singer in the late 70s and early 80s. You may have heard some of my songs, Mary Jane (an ode to sex and weed), Give it to Me baby (an ode to sex and drugs), and Super Freak (an ode to drugs and sex). But later I became better known for my wild drug and sex (inspired by his own songs) parties where someone was allegedly beaten up, kidnapped and burned by a Crack Pipe." Audience reaction: who? No he came out and said "I'm Rick James, Bitch" Audience: Oh yeah, I remember you. Where you been? Would you sing us a song? Would slap my girlfriend around? All the sudden Bitch is the new Nigger and Nigger is the new Negro and Negro is something Michael Evans said in Episode # 83 of "Good Times" Titled "Damn we still broke!".

Here's the kicker. Are you ready? Okay. I like the word. Actually I love the word. I use it as seasoning. I add it here and there. I refer to guys as Bitches, chicks as Bitches (I obvioulsy refer to women as chicks, also) and I also use it as a one word mood definer. I'm pissed: Bitch! I'm sad: Bitch. It just fits. The frustrating part about all of this is when a guy let's it slip out when talking to me or even a chick for that matter. If you say it to me with the least bit of disdain in your tone I am ready to throw down. I guess I am sort of a hippocrite, I can say it but you can't. Dave Chapelle can say it but you can't. Wu Tang Clan can say it (KON-NI-CHI-WA Bitches!) but you can't.

Does the use of something really take away the strength behind it. The more I say it the less it will hurt when someone else says? What's wrong with me? I used to blame it on the fact that I'm from Brooklyn (Is Brooklyn in the house? Oh baby, baby!). We are hard core in Brooklyn and profanity is our native language. Maybe I can blame it on Tourette's Syndrome? I don't think that will help, people with Tourette's say things like "Bitch Ass Face". But what do I do when I end a perfectly good 30 minute phone conversation with girl friends that included such topics as Life goals, relationships, children, education and spirituality? I say "Smooches Bitches" right before hanging up. That's just wrong isn't it? I am here to say that I will make a strong attempt to stop saying it. I spend quality time with young and impressionable children. What kind of example am I setting for them. So from now on I'll try to decrease the use of the word Bitch. And to those young impressionable children out there, "Suck That Shit Up and stop your crying."

Shit's not a curse word, is it?